I notice that my memories are so bad after I was diagnosed with depression and it becomes more and more obvious lately. I keep on forgeting what I want to do. I want to buy toothbrush for niece, yet when I enter Giant, I totally forget about it. I go upstairs to take something, yet when I’m in the room, I forget what I want to take. I go to the kitchen to do something, yet when I’m in the kitchen, I do not remember what do I want to do. I have to think hard before I can remember about what I want to take and what I want to do. It is totally frustrating and distressing!!! To avoid being forgetful, I even need write it down in the notes of my phone.
Today I meet NSS, one of my junior to take clothes from her. We have a little bit of chit chat since we haven’t meet for quite some times. She tells me that ASMA, one of our friend is also on long leave due to fractured leg from MVA. When she mentions ASMA’s name, I totally cannot recall who is he. I feel like I do not know him at all. It is after a few hours, only then I’m able to recall his face and characteristics.
Honestly it is frightening to me and I’m very scared. Why do my memories affected so much? Why do I keep forgetting thing? What does the depression do to my memories? I’ve never missed taking the medication, yet why doesn’t it get better?
The intelligence is the only talent that left for me. I cannot tolerate losing it. I will rather die than living with dementia. What shall I do to make my memories better? What shall I so to improve my cognitive function? Frankly, I’m so terrified with my current condition. O Allah please help me get through this!!!