Share Your Thoughts

I was. I am. I will.

Part 1: I was

To share my thoughts could be my last resort. To share my thoughts means I have to remove my mask. To share my thoughts means I’ll have to type and erase the words and type them again. Just because. You see, sharing my thoughts is one of my biggest fear. Let’s start with “I was”. I was one of those who hate going to school. I was one of those who had no friends. I was a quiet student. A nerd. A ” forever alone ” person. Heck, I never thought that I am a forever alone but this one conversation left a big scar to my heart. I heard them giggling, their eyes averted to me. I heard what they said about me. “FOREVER ALONE”. I learnt that I’m officially a “forever alone” just because I enjoy my own company, just because I love eating my food alone, just because I enjoy reading the books alone. Being alone is a sin. I was invisible too. My opinions didn’t matter. Presentation. Now, tell me the purpose of presentation. To build up confidence? Heck, my confidence was shattered that day. To develop good listening skills among students? Heck, they didn’t listen to me at all. “Her voice is too small.” That was their excuse. Putting the blame on me was one of their routine. It became a habit and you know, habit dies hard. How about my oral test? Oral test is also like a presentation. I hate presentation. So, I hate oral test too. Presentation, oral test~they make my palms sweaty, my hands cold and my legs shake uncontrollably. I looked awkward. We were asked to share our future dreams. Honestly, I did not have proper plans for my future. I came up with a dream of becoming a teacher. A teacher is a noble job. A teacher will support you. That’s what I believe. What can I do when my teacher seemed skeptical of my capabilities? That day, I found out there’s a little chance for me to be a teacher. I was hurt.

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