It has been 12 years since you left us. During early year, we’re busy surviving and adapting our life without you. You know right that it was tough without you since you’re always the one who handled everything and doing things. I knew it was never your intention to leave us early especially when our youngest was just 3 years old. No matter what, I’ve got no choice but to learn everything from the scratch as you’re no longer around. I didn’t have a time to even complain also because I was busy taking care of dad, my younger siblings as well as myself.
As I grow older, I thought I need you less. Unfortunately it is the other way around. It appears that I need you more than before and it puzzles me. Indeed, I’ve lots of things to ask you. I’m sure if you’re around, our relationship will get better, right? I feel like I probably won’t be in this mess if you’re with me. Or even if I was diagnosed with this disease, you will know how to advise me, isn’t it? I’m totally at loss now and really don’t know what should I do anymore. Truthfully it is hard for me right now that sometimes I just lost my mind and felt like I want to follow you. I’m slowly losing myself and I’m truly scared that I will no longer be the strong and resilient girl like before. Therefore I beg you, help me please!!! Can you come into my dream at least and give me piece of advice? I’m not sure how much more can I take and I’m truly exhausted…