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Anxiety

Patah jiwa

I wish this page by speak space ni dah ada lama dulu Masa I paling perlu.

I’ve used to have a life That constantly need me to be alert if anything that I do will get me into trouble,(at home and during any of you)

It’s okay,even that is my passed,and I never get a chance to really talk about it,sbp people akan judge and cakap as if I Mmg DESERVE kena mental maki hamun Dan di pukul at times not most of the times.

If he’s around(off day)or not around also,every morning when I wake up from bed,I tetiba x boleh bernafas,jantung I berdegup sangat kuat as if mcm Ada org nak bunuh I..

My mind are not in peace,semua serba Tak kena.

Mcm2 I trpk dlm kepala,apa Salah Aku lagi nnti akan buat marah..?

 

My son I 5 years old Masa tu,jadi Anak lelaki saya dh lihat kisah saya yg di Dera mental jugal fizikal dari umo 6 Bulan.

Saya x boleh bercakap dgn dia Kalau Berita tu akan susah Kan dia.

 

Jadi I selalu menipu sunat(White lies)just x nak dia Naik angin,

 

Tumbuk saya Dan terajang saya,

Tarik Rambut saya.

Menyalah Kan saya setiap yg terjadi.

 

So yes mental saya Masa tu Sngt critical,

 

Saya rasa takut setiap detik dan saat,

Tapi saya x Tau pasal ape sbnrnya.

Kalau saya di luar bersama Kawan,wlaupom dia hnya kol untuk ckp biasa2,tapi saya akan TERUS melompat nak balik rmh,

 

Saya nak pegi saloon pom takut dia marah,

 

Jadi hidup saya seperti hilang jiwA.

 

Saya x Tau mane jiwA saya pergi.

Anak lelaki saya jadi teman nangis saya Masa tu.

That’s all for now.

 

Yg pernah patah jiwA,

Bunga

 

 

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    A reader
    September 26, 2018 at 12:22 am

    Stay strong! if there is someone hurting you physically along with your child, do not be silent! I only wish you the best and i truly encourage you to reach out to authorities that can help you! <3

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